How to write benefit driven SaaS landing page hero section

We'll provide hero sections that are good, but could be improved.

That's the best way to learn.

[.red]No generic advice.[.red]

[.green]Only examples.[.green]

Example 1

Alright, let’s take a look at this one:

Heading

[.orange]"Build real relationships to close winning deals."[.orange]

I’m into it. This is solid—it speaks directly to the outcome and gives a bit of a motivational push. You’re promising something tangible: [.orange]real relationships that lead to success.[.orange]

The only thing I’d tweak is that the phrase “real relationships” is a bit overused in sales/CRM world. It’s a bit fluffy. Maybe tighten it up by being more specific about what kind of relationships or how they’re built. But overall, it’s clear and punchy.

Subheading

[.orange]"Finally, a CRM that doesn't overcomplicate it."[.orange]

This is great. It cuts through the noise of complex, bloated CRM tools and highlights the simplicity and ease of your offering. People hate overcomplicated software, so this hits the mark.

How I'd tweak it

Heading:

[.green]"Build stronger relationships, close more deals."[.green]

It's a little tighter and still gets the point across: the goal is stronger relationships, which naturally leads to more deals.

Subheading:

[.green]"A CRM that keeps it simple, so you can close faster and build better connections."[.green]

This keeps the “no overcomplication” vibe, but adds a bit more context—why is it better? Because it lets you focus on what actually matters.

Example 2

Heading

[.orange]"The fastest way to understand your customer?"[.orange]

I get it. Insights are key. Without them, businesses can't improve old strategies or create new ones. The problem? It takes time. But with Dovetail, you get insights—fast.

Still, it makes me curious, but I want to know how you’re making it fast. Speed is great, but what's the magic trick? Something like, [.orange]"The quickest way to get real customer insights"[.orange] or [.orange]"Speed up your customer understanding with Dovetal"[.orange] could add that clarity and punch.

Ultimately, you’ve got the hook, but let's get a bit more specific and show the value upfront.

But wait..what about the subheading?

Ah, with that subheading, you’re definitely getting closer to clarity! The subheading adds a layer of explanation that ties everything together, but I still think there's room for a bit more polish.

Let’s break it down:

Subheading

[.orange]"Turn calls, docs, and user feedback into insights, like magic. Create a single source of truth for customer knowledge."[.orange]

This is where it starts to get clearer. You’re showing exactly what Dovetail does, and it sounds pretty slick with that “like magic” bit. The “single source of truth” is a solid concept, but it could be a bit more specific about the benefit—why does that matter to the user?

How I'd tweak it

Here's a refined version to tighten it up and create a more seamless connection between heading and subheading:

Heading: [.green]"Turn calls, docs, and feedback into actionable insights"[.green]

Subheading: [.green]"All in one place. It’s your fastest way to understand your customer."[.green]

Now, both the heading and subheading feel like they’re really speaking to the speed and simplicity Dovetail offers. It’s clear what’s being turned into insights, why that matters (actionable insights), and how it helps (smarter decisions, faster). The "single source of truth" is implied in the idea of having everything in one place.

Example 3

Heading

[.orange]"Banking that gives as much as you."[.orange]

This is a solid, aspirational hook. It’s got a nice rhythm and conveys a sense of generosity, which works well, especially for a nonprofit audience. But I’d say it's still a little broad—what does "gives as much as you" actually mean in this context? Does it mean better rates, more features, or something else? It’s got promise, but it’s a bit open-ended.

Subheading

[.orange]"Unlock competitive rates for nonprofits to amplify your impact and drive meaningful change with every deposit."[.orange]

I love this subheading. It’s clear, it speaks directly to nonprofits, and it ties the offering (competitive rates) with a tangible benefit: amplifying impact and driving change. It’s solid. But here’s the thing: the subheading might actually be doing more work than the heading. The "competitive rates" bit is key, but it feels like it needs to be in the heading too, just to make that value clear upfront.

How I'd tweak it

Heading:

[.green]"Banking that gives back—competitive rates for nonprofits."[.green]

Subheading:

[.green]"Unlock better rates to amplify your impact and drive meaningful change with every deposit."[.green]

Now you’ve got the promise of giving (which aligns with the original heading) and competitive rates upfront, with a subheading that backs it up by focusing on the benefit—making that impact and change clear.

Example 4

Testimonials

Customer reviews

I’ll now craft some sharp and catchy headings and subheadings that speak directly to what Attio’s users claimed about the service.

Testimonial 1

Attio is great so far. Unlike most CRMs, you can make of it what you want. No need for hundreds of property fields you'll never use and can't delete (cough HubSpot cough). It's like a hybrid between Notion and Airtable rolled into a CRM with the ability to email and enrich data via the Clearbit API.

Heading:

[.green]"Finally, a CRM that adapts to you."[.green]

Subheading:

[.green]"Attio gives you the freedom to customize without the clutter—no useless fields, no manual data entry required."[.green]

Testimonial 2

We switched from a very popular CRM to Attio and it's been a wonderful experience so far! The free trial really helped us understand that this relatively new CRM would be able to do what we needed. The team are loving the thoughtful UX, handy shortcuts, and flexibility. Plus, the team has been great to work with, not just throughout the Sales process and Trial, but also as customers - we've been provided with timely support in a friendly manner!

Heading:

[.green]"Ditch the outdated CRM. Make the switch to Attio."[.green]

Subheading:

[.green]"Attio's thoughtful UX, flexibility, and excellent support make it the CRM of choice for growing teams."[.green]

And here is one more example which is great.

Nothing to add.

Now you know how to write landing page hero sections

The goal of the landing page page is to optimize the page for the user journey and funnel conversions. And hook the target audience with the main message on the hero section that provides value to the product.

In other words, to make a purchase, subscribe to a pricing plan, newsletter or something else.

If you are searching for an agency that delivers top landing pages, call us.